Suicide IS NOT Painless

After recent events in my life and the lives of other whom I know, I feel I need to write about the topic of suicide. We have all at one point or another have thought that life is too hard to endure. We have all thought about giving up. That doesn't necessarily mean we want to die, we just grow tired of a difficult situation. But some people who feel like giving up take it one step further. They don't move out from the difficult situation, they become trapped, victims of their own mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical problems. They feel like their issues cannot be solved or fixed, they feel that they are beyond repair. That is usually not the case, but when a person is in such a dark place with no sense of light for the future they have lost all hope.

Suicide is more common than we all think. It may not have directly affected us or be portrayed in the news, but it is out there. Some people see suicide as a sign of weakness, a cry for help, a person who is in need of attention. Suicide is seen differently within other cultures. Western religions and some Asian religions, such as Hinduism, see it as dishonorable and a crime. The people who follow these religions see it as an offense towards their god or gods. The Japanese viewed a certain form of suicide, seppuku, as a form of trying to make up for their failure. Despite varying views on suicide, almost one million people worldwide die of suicide each year. Right now the current population in the world is 6,728,105,875 people. So in the grand scheme of population, one million people dying of suicide may not seem like a big deal. But, it is.

Thoughts and actions of suicide not only impact the person who is directly suffering, they impact that person's circle of friends and family. The friends and family may worry about this person, they may try to get them help, or in some cases, they turn their back. The family and friends may begin to blame themselves thinking "Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong? Was I a bad parent, sister, brother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or friend?" And instead of trying to help the person who is directly suffering, they become trapped, a victim to their own thoughts and emotions. When that happens, they can no longer help the person in need, they become absorbed in their own problems. The last thing a suicidal person needs is everyone turning their back. Some suicidal people say they don't want or need help, they feel they don't deserve help. These people feel they don't deserve help because they also feel they don't deserve to live.

Many people who are suicidal also do not complete suicide on the first attempt. In a way, there is a sort of trial and error process. There are many myths when it comes to suicide and how to die. Sometimes people panic and they are not able to fully carry through with their actions. But, the more attempts a person has, the more likely they are to eventually complete their attempt. Over half of the suicides that occur in the United States are completed by the use of firearms. Asphyxiation, which happens when one is hung and toxification, which happens when one is poisoned, accounts for about 40% of all suicides. The rest of all suicides are completed by blunt force trauma, along with intentional drowning and blood letting just to name a few.

And suicide does not always mean a person is depressed, it can take place for a variety of different reasons including.

• Suffering.
• Love that is not openly reciprocated.
• Grief.
• Stress.
• Philosophical or ideological motives.
• Escape from abusive environment.
• Traumatic injury.
• Financial loss.
• Loneliness.

If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts please visit Suicide.org. There is information on what to do and how to help a person depending on their situation. If you feel suicidal, please call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Suicide is preventable and no one is ever beyond repair. In the darkest shadows of night there is always a glimmer of light and hope.

Sincerely,
Advice Queen Jean

Not In The Mood To Date?

Finally, CNN has posted an article on why it's ok not to date. I personally do not date. I despise dating these days. I find it so weird that girls have to dress themselves up in order to find the love of their life. Here's my theory, if someone's going to like me, they should like me for looking like me. I know that theory is worn out and everyone says it but no one believes it. If you actually believed it, you wouldn't be putting on four pounds of makeup in order to go to a club. You wouldn't be wearing skirts and dresses that reveal more than they should. Why should I bother straightening my hair for the sake of getting a date? If someone wants to date me, they should like me when I wear my loose jeans and comfy shirts. There's no point in putting up a front, it makes no sense to wear sexy clothes and high heels for the first few dates. You can't tell if that person likes you for who you are or what you wear (or sometimes what you don't wear).

I love the line from the article that says "There are plenty of cheerful single women who are neither desperate nor lonely." Now I may not be a ray of sunshine, but I am definitely not desperate or lonely. I enjoy being alone, some people see it as being anti-social, I see it as enjoying my own company. Maybe I'm selfish, I'm not too good at sharing. I've shared my heart one too many times, become emotionally attached, given all I had, then got screwed in the end. I'm sure this has happened to all of us, but it's happened to me in extreme ways. I don't want to play the dating game either. I don't want to become emotionally attached. I don't want to be the girl waiting by the phone for a call or text message. I don't want to have to worry about someone else or get jealous when they choose to hang out with someone else over me. I don't want to have to worry about my heart getting broken either. I seem to have "bum radar" if there is a bum within a five mile radius, I seem to attract them.

And it stinks sometimes because some people think I'm odd because I don't date. They think there is something wrong with me because I don't want to find the love of my life. I already have plenty of love in my life, why on earth do I need to frazzle myself looking for more? I love singing, playing my piano, painting, knitting, tv, and my newest obsession, playing video games. If I had to date someone, I would have to give up one of my loves to make time for that person. I'm not willing to do that especially when I know that the relationship will end. There will be a fight, or jealousy, possibly unfaithfulness (not on my part), along with a ton of other issues. I will end up heart broken and bitter, hating everything having to do with everyone.

I may not be drunk, lonely, infectious, desperate, or not over a past love, but I have my own reasons for not dating. Love me or leave me, I don't care, because I'm perfectly content being alone. Maybe you should try it?

Sincerely,
Advice Queen Jean

Diets: The Good, The Bad, And The Disgusting

It seems like everyone these days wants to lose weight! America is trying to move in a healthier direction in order to help prevent diseases. I think it's great that so many people want to lose weight, but are they really helping their long term heath? There are so many diets, The Atkins Diet, South Beach Diet, along with meal plans like NutriSystem and Jenny Craig. Let's not forget about diet pills, one of the more recent ones is Alli, but there are many dietary supplements that contain mysterious herbs. Well, a lot of these plans and pills are ok for a quick fix, but not for long term benefits. Think about it, if extreme diet plans and pills really worked, no one would be obese!

My theory is that our bodies need all the basic food groups. We need carbohydrates, proteins, fruits and vegetables, whole grains, dairy, and a little bit of fats and sweets every now and again. Any time you cut out a major food group, you are causing your body go out of wack. Problems such as low blood sugar can occur, that can not only make you feel terrible, but it could lead to death. Or your body may become accustomed not to having a certain food group that once you try to introduce it back into your system, it can make you terribly ill.

Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig are decent ideas for short term help. Those plans help you to realize how much you need to eat in order to survive every day. They are meant to help people who have problems with portion control. Of course they boast the benefits of using the glycemic index to help you lose weight while staying fuller longer. Commercials for these programs can be very misleading, they make it seem like you don't even have to exercise! If you read the fine print at the bottom of the screen it says "Results not typical." My question is, what are the results? Five pounds? Ten pounds? Fifteen pounds? You may not even lose weight on the program if you don't exercise, you might end up gaining weight!

Alli has been proclaimed a weight loss miracle drug, it helps to reduce the amount of fat your body retains. Alli works during the Lipase phase of digestion where fat is broken down into smaller amounts and then stored for energy. The pill helps to prevent this phase, allowing the fat to pass through your digestive tract without being stored. In order for this pill to work, you have to monitor the amount of fat your consume each day. We've all heard about the side effects, diarrhea, gas, bloating, and the occassional inability to control your bowels. Sounds appealing right? I think that's the reason why it works so well, it's the fear factor. If you have a hamburger and milkshake for lunch, you may accidently go potty in your pants before you know it! So if you know that could happen, that will deter you from eating that hamburger and milkshake for lunch. Plus having diarrhea makes anyone lose weight! I have also read once you stop taking the pill, you could end up gaining all the weight back. Do you really want to live in fear of having an accident for the rest of your life for the sake of losing weight? I know I don't.

Here's what I recommend, watch what you eat and exercise! It's not as hard as you think to practice portion control, here are some common examples you can use.

• Deck of cards- the size of one serving of meat, poultry, or fish.
• Baseball- the size of one of one serving of vegetables or fruit.
• Six dice- the size of one serving of cheese.
• CD- the size of one serving of pancakes or waffles.
• Computer mouse- the serving size of a baked potato.
• Rounded handful- a snack size for raw, cooked, dried fruits or vegetables or a full serving rice or pasta.
• Thumb tip- one teaspoon of peanut butter.

A woman typically needs 1200 calories per day and a man needs around 1800 calories per day. If you are able to cut 100 calories per day along with exercise 3-4 times a week with each session being about 45 minutes long, you will lose weight. It won't be drastic, you won't lose 10 pounds in one week. But you will lose weight the safe way and you will be more likely to keep it off. One pound of fat equals 3500 calories so it will take a while to lose fat. But keep in mind our bodies need some fat in order to keep going. And a lot of our body weight are bones, muscles, organs, blood, and water. Unless you want to amputate a leg you can't get rid of bone weight!

Exercise doesn't have to require a gym membership either. Walk around your block briskly or if you have the luxury of living near a park, tackle a trail or two. If you live in a two story house, try running up and down the stairs for five or ten minutes. You can always switch it up by working with light weights. You can exercise while watching tv, during the commercials do arm curls with a five pound weight, you don't even have to stand up to do this! When going to the grocery store or mall, park farther away from the entrance and you will be shedding calories just by going shopping. Sometimes it's the little things we change in our lives that make the biggest difference.

Remember, in order to have safe weight loss, portion control and exercise is the way to go!

Sincerely,
Advice Queen Jean

Money, money, money!

Now I'm the type of gal who believes a woman should have her own money. Here recently, I've been hearing around that when some women get married, they throw all of their money into a joint checking account and let the husband worry about the finances. This may sound all fine and dandy in the beginning. Why shouldn't it? You love your husband, he's absolutely perfect in your eyes, he can do no wrong, he treats you like a princess. Oh joys of joys you found the man of your dreams!

Approximately 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. That means there is a fairly decent chance that your marriage won't work. I may sound pessimistic and mean, but I'm stating the facts. But you know, since your husband is perfect, you won't have to worry about it. People change, every single day we change whether or not we recognize it. Some men go crazy after getting married, they get possessive and attempt to control every aspect of your life. Or sometimes a man will go out and get himself into a bit of trouble with a little affair that turns into a big affair. Marriage could be a bit too hard for him and he doesn't know how to cope so he turns to drugs and alcohol or even gambling. And this is why a woman needs to have her own money.

My advice to you is to have your own checking account, let your husband have his own, and then have a joint savings account that you both contribute to. What if you have to run away from your controlling husband? You can't do that if you don't have your own money. What if your husband blows through the joint savings on drugs, alcohol, and gambling? You're going to be in some deep doo doo if you don't have your own money. Consider having your own money a back up plan, it will always be there if you need it.

And if by chance you have a truly great husband, then having your own money could be helpful within your marriage. What if you want to buy him a really nice present for his Birthday without him knowing? If you have shared money, that means you have shared records, meaning your husband can see you withdrew $200 from the ATM and you might get a few questions about it. In reality you were buying him a new pair of golf shoes but he doesn't know that. If you had your own money he wouldn't be questioning you.

Some people may be offended by this post, it may appear that I am making every man look like scum of the earth. Well, not all men are scum of the earth and there are also some pretty awful women out there. Doo doo happens and it's always best to have that safety net. Don't rely on your partner for your personal financial stability. You are your own person, you cannot rely on the other person for everything. That's why you need a plan for protection.

Sincerely,
Advice Queen Jean

Welcome

Hello Everyone!
I'm so excited to be writing this blog! I'm the type of person who can find an answer for anything. If there is a will, there is a way, and I always seem to find the way. I've been the type of person who my friends come to for advice. I've been told I'm wise beyond my years and throughout difficult times, I've realized how true that saying was.

The way this is going to work for now is that I am going to post blogs about topics that a person may have questions about. And if any of all have questions about a difficult situation you're going through, I'm here to help. Don't worry, I will never disclose your personal information to anyone and if I must use a name to help a person in my blog, I will create a fake name for that person. Your privacy is important to me.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog and maybe it will help you to gain insight into your life.

Sincerely,
Advice Queen Jean